The Snug Harness Blog

Fall Protection Dictionary: The SkyHook

As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness are going to break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is.  So, without any further ado, let’s pull out the first word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

The SkyHook:

Definition: The SkyHook is a permanent anchor point on a flat or pitched roof.

Word Origin: The SkyHook?  What am I?  Kareem Abdul-Jabaar?  I’m not too sure where this name came from, but I’m sure someone at Guardian Fall Protection is a pretty big basketball fan. (Note: That comment was not meant to imply that the lover of basketball at Guardian Fall protection is of a larger stature.)  Another possible explanation for the name could be the hook accident of ’75, in which thousands of tiny hooks fell from the sky.  Although, I highly doubt that a company priding itself on safety would name a product after the biggest hook disaster since 1912.    

Analysis: The product is very useful.  It’s a permanent anchor, so when Joe Moron needs to clean his gutters, he also has the choice to keep himself alive.  He’ll probably choose no, but I’ve seen his wife. 

Also, you can use this sucker on residential and commercial jobs, on almost any pitch, and on wood, metal, and concrete roofs.

Another nice feature of the SkyHook is its ability to work as both a fall arrest and fall restraint device.  Surprisingly, fall arresting someone does not require a college degree.  Makes you wonder how safe our streets are? 

A possible flaw is the color.  Who wouldn’t want a big yellow hook sticking up from the roof?  I don’t know how big of an issue this is though?  I mean if it’s ugly, they must be putting all of their effort into making it safe.  They must not have time to focus on aesthetics.  Besides, everyone knows ugly girls are the nicest.  The good thing is that it’s powder-coated, and is durable in the weather. 

The SkyHook can also be set up in a horizontal lifeline system, allowing four workers to be kept away from the edge of a roof in fall restraint (This doesn’t mean you’re on a leash does it?)  And for those of you wondering how often the cable might break or come loose, if the cable is tied correctly, it shouldn’t go out.  This isn’t Dish Network.

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you need to get your TV channels from a local cable provider.  I just assume that you, like me, swear when a branch blows in front of your satellite and you miss Richard Simmons’ acceptance speech at the 2004 “Help Me!  I’m Chubby Awards!” when he’s honored for his lifetime achievement.

Similar Terms:

The Permanent Roof Anchor

For Fun:

The Slam Dunk

The Guy Hook

The Oily Thigh Hook

Word Associations:

The SkyHook: What happened to the SkyClasp?

The SkyHook:  Do you have to do it in a plane?  Because if so, then no.

The SkyHook:  I am looking!  I don’t see anything!  I… DON’T… UNDERSTAND… YOUR… BROKEN… ENGLISH.

So, there you have it.  It turns out that this word is an interesting approach to a very useful product.  I hope you appreciated our dissection of the SkyHook, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word.  Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty. You’ll never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Fall Protection Dictionary: SP-Anchor

As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is.  So, without any further ado, and by special request, let’s pull out another word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

SP-Anchor:

Definition: A SP-Anchor is a roof anchor made of galvanized steel that is capable of fitting any roof.  It is the piece of equipment you lanyard attaches to.

Word Origin: Holy Insert Joke Here Batman!  Where did this word come from?  For those of you, who are two steps behind, let me catch you up.  The SP-Anchor sounds harmless at first, but when you say it without the hyphen it instantly becomes “spanker.”

Let the speculation begin.  My original thought was that one of the product developers brought his demo home and found a different use for the flexible steel, leaving spotty welts everywhere he went.  After literally hours of tantalizing debate in my office, I concluded that this probably was inaccurate (the door was only closed for approximately 45 seconds).    I then analyzed the initials “SP.”  Could it possibly mean “self propelled?” I don’t think that is the image they’re looking for, and in fall protection, nothing should be propelled off of the roof.  I concluded that the “SP” is an abbreviation for “specialty” anchor.  So special, in fact, that you can throw it away.

Analysis: The SP-Anchor is a great tool for construction workers on the go.  These are some of the few roof anchors that are disposable.  They’re disposable like Ford Pintos, although the SP-Anchor won’t burst into flames when it’s thrown away.  I think tt’s about time somebody made a roof anchor that isn’t an investment.  Look, for the price of 1/20^th of a cup of coffee a day, you can have your very own SP-Anchor.  See, it’s economical.  Now, a contractor can put safety in their bids without blowing the job.  Watch it. 

The SP-Anchor can fit any pitch roof.  I’m unsure if it can hit a B flat, which can get pretty high, but I do know that you can buy these in advance and you’ll always have the perfect anchor.  The SP-Anchor nails or screws directly into the truss, and is as secure as any other anchor.  It meets every applicable standard for fall protection, even the unpopular standards like: “This product must have a funny name.”  It’s even constructed of galvanized steel, which is pretty sturdy for a disposable product, especially since a large amount of disposable products are made of bubble wrap.  Luckily, someone at Guardian had the foresight to see that a bubble wrap roof anchor was impractical, no matter how fun it might’ve been.

How do you dispose of it?  Well, there are two ways.  You can hammer the top over the side or you can unscrew the screws and take it out.  It’s just that simple, unless, you nailed it into the truss and want to take it out completely.   Yanking on that with a crow bar or the back of your hammer could send you spiraling off the roof with the anchor you just uninstalled.  Overall, the SP-Anchor has some great features, but I’m sure people would save more money getting something that they can reuse.   

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you should throw away an entire Ford Pinto without first consulting your local waste management facility for proper pickup procedures.  Trust me it will never fit in a garbage can no matter how hard you try.  By the way, does anyone need thirty crushed garbage cans?

Similar Terms:

Pitch Me Peak Clamps

Expendable Housetop Holds

The Banger (only kidding!)

Word Associations:

SP-Anchor:  No, I don’t have a boat.

SP-Anchor:  Wasn’t she on the Golden Girls?  I think she played Dorothy.

SP-Anchor:  I don’t think I should right now, that’s meant for the bedroom.  Right honey?

So, there you have it.  This word is a useful product in fall protection, but some might consider it wasteful and laborious.  Unfortunately, that’s not something I can decide for you, but we are one step closer to fall protection divinity.  Even though we’ve got miles to go, I hope you appreciated our dissection of the SP-Anchor, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word.  Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty.  You never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.

Fall Protection Dictionary: Harness

As a service to you, we here at the Snug Harness break down some of the useful terminology and make fun of some of the stupid buzzwords that sales guys use to show you how “great” their fall protection is.  So, without any further ado, let’s pull out another word from the Snug Harness Word Sack:

Harness:

Definition: A Harness is a series of webbings that are used to secure a worker to a rope and then an anchor point in order to prevent a fall.

Word Origin: There is something about the word “harness” that just seems tight and restrictive.  Snug, if you will.  I believe the word “harness” was chosen because of its ability to control and handle the awesome power of fall protection.  The word “harness” alludes to the reigning in of something that is about to spiral out of control, much like your drunk Uncle Larry lying on the bed of coats at your next family gathering.  The word might also come from a Dutch word meaning, “A device that raises and lowers the warp threads on a loom.”  Who knows?

Analysis: When most people think about fall protection, they immediately think of harnesses (and falling).  A harness is merely a set of straps that a worker dons before ascending more than six feet above the next available level.  Six feet is the standard established by OSHA at which a fatal fall could occur.  Although, from what I understand, a five-foot fall could do a considerable amount of damage to what society has labeled, “little people.”  Every harness contains a D-ring that is placed roughly in the middle of the back.  A lanyard is then attached to the D-ring.  The other end of the lanyard is attached to some sort of anchor point, and then the man jumps into the tub.  What is this, the game Mousetrap? 

There are a couple re-occurring problems with the harness.  One is that no one is absolutely positive how a harness goes on.  They get tangled and you end up looking like a horse’s ass, but that might be the result of the hot pink sweat pants you wore to work.  However, the tangled mess problem is something that a lot of fall protection companies are working on right now.  Another problem associated with the harness, is the stigma of wearing one.  For some reason various construction workers feel that wearing a harness somehow makes them weak, as if you’re stripping away their super powers.  Everyone pretty much knows that humans can’t fly right?  They must think that a “real man” should be able to stay balanced.  Have you ever seen a construction worker get dressed?  If they put on a pair of pants in the morning and the only thing broken in their bedroom is a lamp, that’s a good day.  An additional complaint is comfort.  Companies are attacking this hard, but not as hard as the harness seems to be attacking various nether regions of the body.  In order to fix this they’re practically stapling posturepedic mattresses to the worker. In short, they can become a bit cumbersome.

As with some of the previous terms, a harness is pretty generic term, and the amount of variations on this piece of equipment are endless.  We’ll of course delve into the construction, universal, and every other molded harness on the market at a later date. 

Disclaimer: This post in no way implies that you should work thirty feet off the ground with a mattress attached to you, because if a big gust of wind comes, you’re pretty much screwed.

Similar Terms:

Your Royal Harness

Arial Armor

The Sissy Straps (only kidding!)

Word Associations:

Harness:  I don’t know how you can claim a sea monster that lives half way around the world as yours.

Harness:  Yeah, we put my grandma in one of those when she got sick, so she wouldn’t run away… shuffle away.

Harness:  I think my wife wears one of those.  I believe she has a class B harness.

So, there you have it.  This word is used throughout the business, and is a great staple of fall protection.  Even though we’ve got miles to go, I hope you appreciated our dissection of the Harness, and as always we’ll be back again next week with another word.  Thanks for stopping by the Snug Harness, where it’s always hot and sweaty.  You never know what you might find in the Snug Harness’ world of construction and fall protection.