The Snug Harness Blog

Fat Fish Stops Fighting – Out of Breath

LAKE MICHIGAN – An obese Lake Michigan trout, known to his friends as “Tubby,” was caught Thursday afternoon. 

After eating his third full meal of the afternoon, Tubby set out to find dessert. He eventually settled on a shiny piece of plastic that didn’t resemble a fish at all. After he bit into the lure, Tubby panicked.

According to Tubby’s friend Cliff: “I saw him get grabbed. I’m kind of his wingman down here. Yeah we get caught all the time. Everyone has heard about… I mean who hasn’t. Fish get caught daily. It really is an epidemic; the same goes for Lake Michigan fish, they’re among the fattest in the Great Lakes.”

“Tubby tried in vein to snap the line for about 3 seconds, and then threw in the towel… He was out of breath,” said his brother, Raphael, who owns the tiny trinket shop that hawks lost lures and other long forgotten fishing tackle.

Within seconds, Tubby wafted to the surface to be pulled aboard “The Main Squeeze” appearing out of breath and lethargic.

“I could tell he was morbidly obese when I saw him, but when I was reeling him in, he felt like a little guy. I was impressed by his girth,” said the local angler Walt Thompson, who caught Tubby. 

When the hook was removed and, Tubby finally caught his breath, he struck up a nice conversation with the fishermen. He played a couple of games of Euchre and was filleted at 6 P.M.

Tubby was scheduled to have a gastric bypass procedure done next Tuesday. A memorial service has yet to be scheduled.

Numb Nuts

How dumb can a person, or company be.  Seriously.  I expect this kind of behavior form Paris Hilton, but a construction company?  According to this OSHA report Miranda Construction of Massachusetts, " faces $40,000 in proposed fines from the U.S. Department of Labor's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) for allegedly exposing employees to serious fall hazards at a Newport, R.I., residential construction site."

Rack it up kids that's another $40,000.  In American dollars this time.  And notice to that this fine was issued to a RESIDENTIAL construction site.  It looks like big brother is starting to go after the little guys.

Unfortunately, the sad part about this story is that these numb nuts have already been fined for this exact violation.  I imagine that there thought process went something like this. 

"Well we just paid $10,000 dollars in fines, now we can't afford fall protection."  "Yeah, you're probably right Cletus, besides they'll never check us again, eh, piss on 'em."

Nice move Cletus.  Luckily, no one was injured.

Aw Crap!

Well, According to an article by the Vancouver Sun, I have some fresh information for you about fall protection.  I turns out that even in the age of the information super highway, companies are still piling up needless expenses on their yearly budgets. 

It turns out that Jemico Enterprises was fined a modest $40,268 for a "lack of fall protection while working on equipment." 

I know what some of you are thinking... "Idiot that's in Canadian money, not American dollars."  Well, the last time I checked the current exchange rate one American dollar did not equal $40,268 American dollars.

Nope it's much higher than that.  Which is stupid because you can outfit a guy in fall protection for about $100.  Hmm...

$100 or $40,268?  Small expense or pay out the ass?  Let's put it this way, sending your guys above six feet without fall protection is just plain dumb.  You might as well be playing "Press Your Luck" (the unpopular game show from that lovely decade known as the 80's).  So if you want the whammies to stop, click here for  some fall protection gear that will help win back thousands of dollars in OSHA fines.

Announcing Erector Month

Well, we're ready to whip it out.  Finally it's erector month for all of you steel workers out there.  And to celebrate, we here at the Snug Harness are offering some sweet savings on fall protection for iron, steel, and aluminum foil workers.  This event is going to last all month long and stay rock hard.  Warning:  if your excitement for steel related fall protection lasts more than four hours, consult a physician.   You can find some of our great deals by CLICKING HERE.  So enjoy it while you can.

Top 10 Concrete Fall Protection Products Announced

After minutes of deliberation, Snug Harness has unveiled it's first Top 10 list, and keeping with the festivities of "Concrete Month: Solid As A Rock" we've chosen to rank the top ten concrete products in the world of fall protection. 

How was the list determined?  Well with a lot of head scratching and finger nail biting.  As you can see illustrated in the picture above this was awkward and uncomfortable process, especially when Doug took of his shirt.  Most people cleared out of the conference room when he pulled out the canola oil.  When he was confronted with the picture he held his head in shame and assured us he would be starting a diet soon.  He hinted at Trim Spa.   

Anyway you can see the fruits of our labor by CLICKING HERE.

Concrete Month Begins

All this month, the Snug Harness is celebrating “Concrete Month,” or what some people call January. And trust me, we are going to hit it hard all month long. As some of you may know, this is the month of the fabled and often talked about Concrete Expo in Las Vegas.

Unfortunately, it’s been a year or two since I’ve gone. It might have something to do with all of the Bunny Ranch receipts I turned in for reimbursement. Reimbursement denied.

So in order to celebrate hard rock, we’re throwing a month long bash that includes special discounts, sweet information, and hilarious rants for those of you who love turning dust into rock.

Das Boot

You could win this work boot.  Actually you could win this boot and its brother.  It would be pretty foolish to have a contest and only give away a single boot.  We know because we did it.  It was awkward. 

Here’s the deal, all you have to do is create an account at our new online store in the month of November.  Oh, and creating an account is free.  You don’t even have to buy anything.  (Frank wanted us to make you buy a single boot in hopes that you would be entered to win the matching boot.)  But after a company-wide vote, Frank lost.  The final tally was seven votes to one.

Oh, and if you don’t like the boot in the picture, neither do we.  If you win pick from any style you like on our site.  One randomly chosen winner will be announced December 6, 2006.  So head on over to the Snug Harness and create an account.

It Has Arrived!

After years (months) of preparation, the snug harness has launched an online store to meet all of your fall protection needs.  Without further... (Cough)...Ado... Click Here

This new expedition makes fall protection easier to find and buy.  We have revamped our blog, and you can expect new updates to the fall protection dictionary as well as updates concerning what's new at the office.  We'll let you know if John stubs a toe, or if Frank gets shot down by another unattractive female. 

The Snug Harness is branching out baby, and to quote Frank, "I think it's contagious."