Harness Employed By Large Man’s Crotch
TULSA – It’s been a tough couple of months for Leonard
Seraph, a Universal Harness from Snug Harness.com, but the work must be
done. Three month’s ago Leonard was
dispatched from the factory into the services of Albert Strickland, a 350
pound. construction worker.
Leonard’s duties consist primarily of protecting Albert in case he should fall. He also makes sure that Albert feels comfortable throughout the day, which can be difficult in temperatures soaring above 100 degrees.
“It can get pretty hot out there, moving around. I sweat a lot, and some mornings I don’t have time to shower, so I’m sure it’s pretty tough on Leonard,” said Strickland.
Albert’s co-workers describe him as disgusting, and “smelling of cheese.”
Leonard says that, “it is tough… The guy weighs a ton, and he sweats. Apparently, it’s glandular, but I’m not positive on that. All I know is that on most days my straps are wedged between his massive thighs in what I like to call ‘No Man’s Land.’ Have you ever seen a black hole? How about the swamp in Star Wars? Yeah? It’s kind of like that.”
Leonard also says, “it can be pretty upsetting when you’re discarded like a piece of equipment at the end of each day. Trust me, I didn’t get this stain by myself.”
Strickland denies any abuse and gets Leonard inspected each day before work begins. A healthy practice that is sorely lacking in today’s construction field, but one that will make sure Albert and Leonard are around to enjoy tomorrow.
According to Leonard, “it is tough, but somebody’s got to do it. So, if pressing my straps against this man’s crotch saves his life, I’ve done my job. I just hope that when I begin to fray and I retire from active duty that they’ll spray me down with a pressure washer so I don’t have to live with this smell for the rest of my life”
